The Silly Season
This is the season which only comes once a year and people around you are switched into chaotic mode…suddenly there are 5 times as many cars on the road, traffic jams and less and less places to find a car park. Tempers rise and credit cards are worn down to the plastic, yet it is also the most joyous time of year also! I personally like Christmas, not just because of the obvious but this time of year means holiday and holiday to me is a break from doing uni things even though I really enjoy it. It seems like I have a split life. There’s one side of my life where I spend half of the year studying and the other half at home. They are so distinct in their own ways that I act differently in both environments.
At uni I’m still myself but I also remind myself of my purpose at uni. But really it all boils down to my social difficulties. Well maybe it’s not really a social difficulty but I like to call it that because most of the time these days I really stuggle to find myself in a position that I am satisfied with my social status in the social area right now (woah!). I’ve noticed myself that when I meet people or my friends it seems as though I have to prove something to them, make myself feel worthy of their friendship. Seems weird I know but I don’t no how to explain it and it’s really annoying me. I think it’s just because most of my friends aren’t in Albury anymore and I don’t have anybody to ‘hang’ with just like the good ‘ol days. I will miss those days terribly because as others have moved on it seems as though I’ve just entered school again.
I’ve been really motivated into playing tennis lately. I wish I could play regularly but I don’t know many people that wouldn’t find it weird to have a hit with me often — or am I just thinking like an idiot again? See this is what happens. I enter an everlasting cycle of denial hoping something comes up in order for me to initiate something which involves someone other than family!!!11oneone (lol).
Today before I went to work I spent about an hour browsing youtube. I watched some videos of the High School Musical Tour, it was OK. I also watched a few punk’d videos and some music videos. I came across a Jesse McCartney radio live performance and my gosh was it different from what I hear from studio versions. It was so strained lol. Well I think I have bitched enough to last a few more days or weeks before I blog again. Our family is providing the music at the St. Patricks midnight mass on Christmas Day — 12am December 25, 2006. So if you enjoy the Christmas spirit come along!
Cya,
James
